Gary and the Return of Voldemort
by stonelight
Summary: Follow the adventures of Gary son of Voldemort, brother of Dumbledore and his true love Mary as they change the fate of Hogwarts forever. Not your usual Mary Sue parody.
1. Chapter 1

Gary and the Return of Voldemort

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all associated characters and places are the property of J.K. Rowling, Scholastic, Bloomsbury, etc.. I don't own them.

Chapter 1

Gary's life had always been rather dull. He spent his days just lying in the entrance hall of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. People trampled over him and stared at him, but didn't really pay any attention to him. You see, Gary was a flagstone. He had been part of the floor for longer than he could remember, with nothing to do day after day but stare up at the wall. It was in doing this that Gary had fallen in love with one of the stones in the wall. Her name was Mary and she was beautiful. The torch fixed in a bracket on the stone above her made her appear to glow. She was just the right shape and size, curved perfectly to fit among the other stones. Gary could sit for hours and just stare at Mary, but his lack of movement made it impossible to reach her.

All of this was about to change, however. Gary had no way of knowing that he was about to receive a visitor this late night. Someone with a story that would change his entire life.

"Hello, Gary," said a deep voice from far above. It was the man the students called "headmaster."

"Professor Dumbledore?" Gary asked in surprise.

"Yes," said the voice, now a bit closer as the speaker settled down on the floor near Gary. "I have some news for you, it may be a bit of a shock."

"Anything to break the monotony would be welcome," Gary said bravely.

Professor Dumbledore sighed and regarded the stone seriously for a moment. "It is a complicated story, Gary. You have heard of the wizard called Voldemort?"

Gary shuddered against the surrounding stones, who grumbled in protest. Dumbledore took this for an affirmative answer and continued his tale.

"It turns out that he is your father, Gary."

"What!" Gary exclaimed. "But how? I've been here for...well, hundreds of years."

Dumbledore stroked his beard thoughtfully. "I told you it was a long story. If you'll allow me to explain..."

By the time Dumbledore had finished talking, Gary's mind was reeling. It seemed he truly was the son of the Dark Lord. Not only that, but he was brothers with someone named Lily Potter, who had been killed by her own father years ago, twins with Dumbledore, and the half-brother of his own true love Mary.

"How did all this happen?" he asked.

"It's all rather vague," Dumbledore answered. "Something to do with a time turner and a kumquat, I believe. I've only just found this out myself by examining the memories of others. Memories I was very fortunate to obtain. I've come down tonight to warn you. I have reason to believe that Voldemort will be looking for you soon. He may want to kill you, or he may want you to help him kill me."

"I would never do anything to harm you, sir!" Gary exclaimed. "I would die first."

"That is very noble of you, Gary. I'm afraid you will be in very great danger."

Gary assured Dumbledore that he would die rather than betray Hogwarts and Dumbledore bid him goodnight. The next morning, things began to happen.

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Gary was having a fairly uneventful morning. After keeping himself up half the night thinking about everything Dumbledore had told him, he had finally drifted off into an exhausted slumber filled with images of Mary, freshly polished and shined, dressed in mosaics, screaming in front of Voldemort. Unfortunately, Gary had no idea what Voldemort actually looked like, so to his imagination He-Who-Has-Never-Been-Known-To-Flagstones looked rather like a large, iron brick filled with menace.

He was woken up rather abruptly by what felt like thousands of feet all tramping rudely into his face. He winced, doing his best to ignore the pain and pray today wouldn't be one of the days where the students with weird eyes stared down at him. It was really quite uncomfortable being stared at like that.

His musings were interrupted by the sound of voices coming from above him.

"So you don't think I can do it? You don't think I can perform a simple spell? I'll show you?"

Gary heard the other stones putting down bets, and was about to join in when he heard the fateful words.

"Wingardium Leviosa!"

A bright light hit him, and he suddenly felt himself being flung into the air, turning nauseating circles, only barely aware that he was screaming before-

Thud!

Groaning softly, he slowly realized that he was face down, and far above the ground. It took another few seconds to realize what he was face down on.

"Mary?"

She smiled seductively at him before leaning foreword a millimetre and capturing his stone lips with a kiss that warmed him all through his cracks. He gave in, happily forgetting everything, ignoring the cries of "What the fuck?" and "Eww." Mary was all that he cared about, the only thing in his tiny, cold life.

It was a long time before they abandoned their passion, but when they finally did stop, Gary knew what had to be done. He relaxed, pressing himself closer to the warmth of her tile. "Mary."

"Gary."

"I have to tell you something, my love."  
"I have to tell you something as well, darling."

Gary took a deep breath. "I'm actually Voldemort's son, and Lily's brother, and Dumbledore's twin."

Mary looked startled. "But...that's impossible!"

Gary drew away a little, saddened by her astonishment. "I'm so sorry, dearheart. You see, there was this vegetable-"

"No, that's not why it's impossible," she interrupted. "It's because I'm secretly your long lost half-sister from when Voldemort had a drunken encounter with Bellatrix LeStrange."

Gary blinked, puzzled by this new revelation. "But…I'm in love with you! How can this be so?"

"That's alright, sweetie. The no-having-sex-with-your-cousin rule only applies to humans."

"Oh." Gary relaxed relieved. "Okay, then." And he surrendered himself once more into her embrace, forgetting all about Voldemort. He'd deal with it when he had to.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: My apologies for the delay in updating. The story is finished and the rest will be posted within a few days.

Chapter 3

Gary enjoyed a few more leisurely kisses with Mary, time passing quickly so that it felt like only a few seconds before the commotion began. The two stones heard students running by, heard them screaming in terror.

"Gary!" hissed a cold high-pitched voice.

"I have to face this, my love," Gary murmured. "I'll be back."

He peeled himself reluctantly away from Mary and fell to the floor with a painful thunk. That was when Gary had his first view of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. The evil wizard was not, as he had envisioned, an iron stone, but rather a man or something resembling a man. He had mean looking red eyes and a cold snake-like face.

"Gary," he hissed again. "I have come for you. It is time for your destiny to be fulfilled."

With that, Voldemort levitated Gary and stalked out of the castle. The teachers and students, who had inexplicably done nothing to stop Voldemort from either entering or leaving Hogwarts, returned to business as usual leaving Mary alone to cry for her love.

Gary was taken to an old mansion, where he met several mysterious dark men in masks and the mother of his love Mary. His father spent days teaching him to perform wandless magic, mostly dark spells, and telling Gary what his duties would be. Gary quickly learned not to argue or resist, for every time he put up a fight his father cast a spell that hurt him greatly and chipped small pieces away from his edges. It was a slightly smaller Gary that was returned to Hogwarts at the end of the week, bruised and afraid. He had been told that he must either kill Harry Potter or else die a painful death.

It was night when Gary returned to Hogwarts and the first thing he saw was Mary, looking as lovely as ever if a bit sad.

"Gary!" she called out. "Is it really you?"  
"It's really me, darling," he answered.

Gary used his newly learned magical ability to levitate himself up to Mary's level.

"I thought you were dead," she sobbed.

"No," he said in a soothing voice. "Mary, I have to tell you something. My life is in danger and I don't think it's wise for us to be together until after the danger has passed. I don't want to put you in harm's way."

Tears were flowing down Mary's stone surface. "I don't care," she cried. "I love you. I want to stand by you."  
"No!" he yelled.

"Quiet!" the nearby stones shouted. "We're trying to sleep!"

Gary lowered his voice. "I have to face this alone, my love, but if I survive then we'll be together. We'll leave Hogwarts and start a home of our own. Dumbledore can find other stones to replace us."

"I love you," Mary said quietly. "Please be careful."

"I promise."

Gary slowly lowered himself back to his place in the floor and thought about all that had happened in the last week. For years he thought that he was just a simple flagstone, the worst thing that ever happened to him was having strange children stare at him. Now he knew that he was actually related to many important and powerful people, including the Dark Lord himself. Not only that, but he was expected to either kill a student or die in his place. In Gary's mind there was no decision, he would die rather than betray a Hogwarts student, but he would rather live and build a life with Mary. Perhaps they could have little cobblestones of their own when it was all over. Eventually, he drifted into a troubled sleep, dreaming incoherently about Harry Potter, Voldemort, and himself and Mary surrounded by several cute little stones.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Gary woke slowly, only vaguely aware of the feet stamping him into the foundation. It all seemed so petty compared to what he had to do now. How did he decide between the life of a student, and his beloved wife Mary? It was impossible. He was only a simple flagstone. He shouldn't even have magic powers! This train of thought went on for some times, inexplicably expanding to include goats, until a huge pair of hands scooped him off the ground and into the air.

"Look what I found," boomed a young man's voice from the air above him. "It's a broken flagstone!"

Gary was so shocked by both the voice and the fact someone had called him 'broken' that he didn't think to respond for a moment. It was only when he heard his dear Mary scream with horror that he snapped out of his daze.

"Broken? I am not broken! How dare you say that!"

The hands shook noticeably. "You can talk?"  
"Of course I can talk. Now, who are you and why did you pick me up?"

There was a pause, and then the boy's voice spoke again. "You think I should talk to it?"

Gary flushed red. Talk to it? He was about to launch into an enraged tirade about the varying physiologies of stones when a different voice came. A female voice.

"Of course not, Harry. It's probably a Dark Object filled with loads of Dark Magic. It may be leading Voldemort to you."

Gary cringed. He felt awful about the tracking spell, he really did, but he had tried and tried and still couldn't take it off. And now Voldemort was coming to kill them, and they didn't even know.

Wait.

They could know. He had to tell them! At the same moment that the boy's hand tensed to throw him away, he caught up all his courage and shouted, "Wait!"

The hand stopped, and Gary, emboldened, continued. "I have information about the Dark Lord that you must know! Will you listen to me?  
There was a muffled conversation which he not make out, and then the voices came again. "I suppose so. But we will go to Dumbledore after to tell him everything."

Gary then took a deep breath, and told his story.

Thirty minutes later  
"Ok," said Harry, looking a bit confused. "So the kumquats-"

"It isn't about the damn kumquats!" Gary was getting more then slightly frustrated with the Boy-Who-Lived, and was just considering giving him up for lost when that hall shook violently. Screams were heard from all the classrooms, and bursts of green light dislodged panicked wallstones and sent them hurtling to their doom. Gary hastily levitated himself, looking around for Mary only to spot her clinging to her niche, screaming incoherently. He was about to rush to her aid when a loud voice made him freeze.

"Harry Potter. We meet again." It was Lord Voldemort's voice, louder and more terrible then ever before. Gary spun, only to see one of his worst fears. The dark wizard had Harry at wandpoint….and Mary was directly behind him! With stopping to think about what he was doing, he flew foreword.

"Nooooo!"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Gary flew quickly forward, knowing there was no time to waste. He had only one chance and he had to make it good, yet he must be sure not to give himself away. Voldemort had vainly and foolishly arrived at Hogwarts alone yet again and for the moment, his attention was focused solely on Harry Potter. Gary summoned all of his couraged and aimed himself in Voldemort's direction.

Thwack!

Gary had hurtled himself against Voldemort's head with as much force as he could muster. The powerful wizard dropped to the floor in a crumpled pile of robes as Gary, exhausted and in pain, dropped beside him. Voldemort was alive, but unconscious, a small trickle of blood flowing from a cut on his forehead.

Harry had been released when Voldemort fell and for a moment he just gaped at the sight before him. The most powerful dark wizard of the age had been taken down by a flagstone. Then the young man came to his senses and remembered what he had to do. By this time, a crowd was forming in the entrance hall. The Hogwarts teachers and some of the members of the DA were pushing their way toward the front of the gathered masses, while Sybill Trelawney predicted doom in a loud voice from somewhere near the grand staircase.

Suddenly, Harry felt a hand on his shoulder. "You know what you must do, Harry. Best to do it quickly; Gary has done you a great favor." It was Professor Dumbledore.

Harry nodded, rolled up his sleeves and cast the fatal curse. "Avada Kedavra."

From his place on the floor, Gary had heard the exchange. Now, he saw the flash of green light, the slight motion of Voldemort's body. Then there was quiet and stillness. For what seemed an eternity, no one moved. Then suddenly there was chaos. Gary, still somewhat groggy from his fall and his impact with Voldemort's head, felt himself being lifted. He was too tired to fight. Then he could see Mary, someone was taking him to her wall. Kind hands placed Gary gently against Mary.

"Mary!"

"Gary!"

"It's over, love. He's gone."

"I saw the whole thing. I was so scared, but you were so brave. I'm so proud of you, dearest." Mary began to cry.

"Don't cry, darling," Gary said, alarmed.

"I'm crying because I'm happy," she explained, laughing through her tears.  
Gary smiled and kissed her passionately. Then the two stones heard applause from behind them. Gary turned sideways and saw that everyone was congratulating Harry Potter, who had his arm around a pretty girl with red hair. She too was crying, like Mary. Everyone looked happy, people all over the hall were hugging and kissing one another. Even Professor Dumbledore was holding the hand of Professor McGonagall and looking at her with love. Gary smiled, his heart filled to bursting with happiness for everyone, and turned back to Mary.

6 months later

After it was all over, Professor Dumbledore had moved Gary and Mary to his family home in the country. He found a lovely spot for them in the garden walk, where the wall joined the path. They could enjoy both sunshine and rain and no one ever walked on them again, except the occasional kindly animal. Already, they had two tiny cobblestones named Harry and Lily, after the boy who defeated Voldemort and Gary's sister whom he never knew, and Mary was expecting again. It was a perfect life.

The End


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